Me: “So kids, you can choose three foods that no-one can ever make you eat again. What do you go for?”

Elder Daughter: “Mushrooms, courgettes, and the crunchy bits on macaroni cheese.”

Smallest Daughter: “Courgettes, mice and Wuffles the hamster”.

Me: “No-one is ever going to cook you mice or the hamster”.

SD: “Just in case, leave them on the list”.

Bloody Parenting Anecdotes #94: Appropriate illustrations

During the Great Fire of London, Samuel Pepys buried some of his most treasured possessions in his garden, to protect them. For homework, Smallest Daughter was asked to write about—and draw herself—burying her most treasured possessions.

I had to send in the following note with her artwork:

“Hi Mrs F.

I did explain that burying is appropriate to save inanimate objects only. However, SD was absolutely insistent that her family is her most treasured possession. So, that’s why she’s drawn this slightly disturbing picture of her burying us all in coffins in the garden, in case you were wondering.

Best wishes”