Happy Mother’s Day

Every Mother’s Day, I remember the time I picked up my sobbing smallest daughter from school.

SD: *sniffle sob*

Me: “Are you alright, sweetie?”

SD: *sobbing* “My teacher told me not to tell you I’d made you a Mother’s Day card, or I’d ruin the surprise. But I want to tell you I’ve made you a Mother’s Day card because I’m so proud”.

Me: “Aw, you made me a Mother’s Day card! That’s lovely!”

SD: *boo hooing* “BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU I MADE YOU A CARD SO I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU AND SO YOU DON’T KNOW.”

It’s hard being small sometimes…

BLOODY PARENTING ANECDOTES #832: Thanks, sweetheart

My Middle Daughter came running up to me and gave me a massive hug.

MD: “I love you mummy.”

Me: “I love you too sweetheart.”

MD: “I’ll leave flowers on your grave every day when you die.”

Me: “……… thanks, sweetheart.”

This is far from the only time my children have said this sort of thing to me. Does anyone else’s kids do this, or are mine just unusually sinister?