Delivery Man: Sorry mate, your parcel got damaged in transit and it came open. Looks like the contents are missing.
Me: Oh no, seriously?
DM: Yeah, look, there’s nothing in here but bubble wrap. Any idea what was supposed to be in here?
Me: I can’t remember. I’ve ordered a few things recently. How annoying.
DM: No worries mate, I’ll just take it back to the depot and report it damaged. They’ll send you a new one.
Me: Hang on…. It’s ok. Just remembered, I ordered a load of bubble wrap.
A friend was crashing over at mine. He was sleeping on my sofa-bed, in the lounge (with a door that was broken and couldn’t be closed properly).
It was bed-time, so I said goodnight to my mate and then waltzed off to the bathroom to take off my contact lenses. Then—realising that I’d forgotten to tell him something important—I wandered back into the lounge without bothering to put my glasses on. I really am short-sighted, so my friend was just a fuzzy blob.
So, I was chatting away at him, but he was acting rather strangely and not really replying, which seemed a bit weird. After a few minutes, I squinted a bit more at him and realised that he wasn’t just a fuzzy blob, he was an entirely pink fuzzy blob. And why would he be entirely pink? Because he’s not wearing any… ohhhhh….! I stopped talking mid-word, and hurried out of the room.
It must have been ever so odd for my mate: he was getting changed for bed, completely starkers, and I’d wandered in and struck up a conversation with him like nothing unusual was happening.
He never stayed again. I can’t say I blame him.