Me: “Hello?”
Steve: “Hello, it’s Steve from Scottish Power
here. I understand you’re thinking of leaving us for another utility company because they’ve offered you a better price?”
Me: “I’m not thinking, I’ve already switched. And it’s nothing to do with price, it’s because your customer service has been terrible.”
Steve: “But the price must have had something to do with it?”
Me: “Really, no. I’ve had a number of problems with my account since I’ve been with you, and the people at customer service have been friendly enough, but totally incompetent with it.”
Steve: “Can you give me a few more details please?”
Me: [there follows 10 minutes of me detailing numerous incidents where Scottish Power have totally failed to sort out problems]
Steve: “Fair enough, I totally get why you’d want to leave us. But, if I offered you a really good deal on your fuel, would you consider staying?”
Me: “No.”
Steve: “A really really good deal?”
Me: “Seriously, this isn’t about the money. It’s about the customer service.”
Steve: “Is there anything I can do to make you reconsider your decision to leave?”
Me: “No. There really isn’t.”
Steve: “But it’s my job to stop you leaving.”
Me: “Steve, I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s your company’s customer service.”
He said he understood, and we hung up. But still, I hope Steve is OK. I hope he goes on to find other customers (and that they get treated better than I did). I hope he learns to love again, or whatever.