THE WINNING LINES #13: Tales from my dating days

I’d been talking to a man at a Meetup drinks party for ten minutes. In that time, he’d told me about his two ex-wives, why his marriages had broken down and how extraordinarily high his sex-drive was.

I was just looking around for the nearest exit when he leaned in suddenly and whispered hoarsely in my ear: “I’m going to kiss you right now. In front of everyone. It’ll scandalise them”.

He did not actually manage to kiss me, as I immediately ran away squeaking: “I’M TERRIBLY SORRY I MUST GO TO THE LOO IMMEDIATELY”.

On returning, I grabbed my mate Sarah and we moved seats, leaving Mr Overly-Keen on his own. We managed to avoid him for the rest of the night.

The next day, he tracked me down via the Meetup app and messaged me:
“Hi, fancy coffee/tea/meal or a walk in the woods sometime?”.

Classily, he sent the exact same message to Sarah too.

Neither of us replied to him.

Call me picky, but the prospect of walking through the darkest woods, with a creepy stranger, wasn’t the most appealing. I wonder what number wife he’s on now?