THE WINNING LINES: Tales from my dating days #16

Before the date, he warned me that he got very nervous on first dates and often talked a lot. Fine, I sometimes talk a lot too.

But he really wasn’t kidding; I sat and listened to him talk about himself for the best part of three hours.

Eventually, he paused for breath, looked at me and said:

Date: “I suppose I’d better ask you something about yourself, hadn’t I?”

Me: “That’d be nice.”

Date: “So, tell me about your ex-husband.”

Me: “What?”

Date: “Your ex-husband. How did you meet each other, how long were you together and when did it all go wrong?”

Me: “I don’t really want to talk about my marriage, thanks. Isn’t there anything else you want to know about me?”

Turns out there wasn’t, as he went straight back to talking about himself again. At the end of the evening, he apologised again, put it down to nerves, and promised to do less talking and more listening if I’d meet him for a second date. I agreed.

So, the second date arrived and, again, the gentleman started talking about himself without asking me a single question. I tried to get the odd word in, but he was a tsunami of conversation. After two hours:

Date: “I said I was going to ask you something about yourself tonight, didn’t I?”

Me: “Yes, you did.”

Date: “So, tell me about your ex-husband.”

Me: “Seriously?”

Date: “Yes. How did you meet each other, how long were you together and when did it all go wrong?”

Me: “You know what? I’ve got an early start in the morning, let’s call it a night.”